There’s lame and there’s lamer. Princess Python got her start working for…wait for it…THE CIRCUS OF CRIME.
The Circus of Crime.
What can she do?
She’s a snake charmer. She has a really big snake. The snake has no special powers, or abilities, it’s just a snake.
Oh, she’s kind of a whore, too.
So she’s a *snake* charmer, if you know what I mean. The whore thing isn’t really used criminally, though. It’s just her way.
Circus of Crime.
Circus of Crime is lame enough I could’ve used them for most of these letters. Here’s the members, you can imagine their lameness by their names alone: Ringmaster, The Clown, The Human Cannonball, Bluto the Strongman, The Great Gambonnos and Live Wire.
She also joined the Serpeant Society (because it’s a snake themed team, and presumably, they needed a lady). Who aren’t as lame as The Circus of Crime, but she was totally their weak link - in fact, I think she frequently fell in love with their adversary and turned on the Society a couple of times.
Oh yeah, and apparently she was married to Stilt-Man, and then The Gibbon. I mean, you might as well just kill yourself.
Oh, hold on. I kid you not, Princess and her Circus of Crime compatriots, as a group, were defeated by Howard the Duck.
Man-Ape does get his powers from a monkey he ate. His powers? He’s sort of strong. And he’s gorilla agile.
He’s a Black Panther villain - and while I highly recommend the John Romita Jr run on Black Panther, his villains are lame.
Man-Ape is a frequent member and co-conspirator with the Lethal Legion. Which has been honored by such villainous luminaries as The Living Laser, Power Man, Whirlwind and the ever popular lame villain The Grim Reaper.
(Also, I bet you’re all shocked I didn’t do MODOK.)
Okay, so he was designed by Bill Sienkowicz, so when drawn by him he…okay, he still looks ridiculous, but he looks stylized ridiculous.
Let’s see if I can work this out. It’s not easy.
Legion is Professor X’s illegitimate son so he’s massively super brain powered. But he’s ape shit nuts. Back when I was reading he had three personalities and each one controlled a different brain power (I’m a little Cyndi, I have pyrokinetic powers!). Are you getting this? Illegitimate son with multiple personalities?
Super soap opera.
Frankly he’s done stuff as a an attempted X-Man nemesis which is a big old mess involving time travel (yeah, he can do that), and psi-blades, and more and more personalities and absorbing people’s brains or something. I mean, he’s a total mess.