Robot Mountain

View high resolution

Oh.

Oh my.

Matt Smigiel is straight killing it on the OHOTMUR, guys.

As you guys know I used to draw a fairly well received PRO-WRESTLING WEBCOMIC so when I got the chance to work on the Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe Reduxe I felt like it would be a criminal mis-service to not insist on drawing the Super-Pro-Wrestlers of the Marvel Universe.  So I did.   

HERE ARE THE DISEMBODIED FLOATING HEADS OF THE MARVEL UNIVERSE WRESTLERS!

View high resolution

I can’t believe I haven’t posted this yet.

Another one I did for the Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe Reduxe.   Love posting over there with some super talented art folks.

View high resolution

Because there’s no reason for me to stop - as long as the Pym love keeps giving.

SCIENCE ADVENTURE OR DIE!

(WCA #31)

Hank Pym, Adventure Scientist.

You are my hero.

View high resolution

ABCs of Mediocre Marvel Villainy

Fair to say that Paste-Pot Pete is the least intimidating villain name ever.   Kite Man is  scarier.

I really love all the Frightful Four members.   They actually have some nice synergy and while villainous none ever seem all that evil.

Usually, I write a little diatribe about how lame these guys are, but for The Trapster I’m going to keep it simple.

One time, The Trapster was defeated by the Fantastic Four’s building.

Happy Holidays.

View high resolution

ABCs of Mediocre Marvel Villainy

Okay, Stilt-Man, explain yourself.

“Well, I’m a thief, and I have this exoskeleton that makes me really tall.  Like my legs are stitls.  Get it?”

Okay.

Why do you need to be tall?

“Because of…you know…uh…”

In comics books are banks on the top floors of very tall buildings?

“Well, no, but…”

You’re dead now, right?

“Uh, yeah.”

Thank God.

Further proof that early Daredevil villains may be the lamest of them all.

He’s tall, people.

Not a giant.    

Just…long legged.

Like the daddy long legs of villainy.  If daddy long legs weren’t spiders.    And only had two legs.

View high resolution

ABCs of Mediocre Marvel Villainy

There’s lame and there’s lamer.  Princess Python got her start working for…wait for it…THE CIRCUS OF CRIME.

Yes.

The Circus of Crime.

What can she do?

She’s a snake charmer.   She has a really big snake.   The snake has no special powers, or abilities, it’s just a snake.

Oh, she’s kind of a whore, too. 

So she’s a *snake* charmer, if you know what I mean.   The whore thing isn’t really used criminally, though.  It’s just her way.

Circus of Crime.

Circus of Crime is lame enough I could’ve used them for most of these letters.   Here’s the members, you can imagine their lameness by their names alone:  Ringmaster, The Clown, The Human Cannonball, Bluto the Strongman, The Great Gambonnos and Live Wire.

She also joined the Serpeant Society (because it’s a snake themed team, and presumably, they needed a lady).  Who aren’t as lame as The Circus of Crime, but she was totally their weak link - in fact, I think she frequently fell in love with their adversary and turned on the Society a couple of times.

Oh yeah, and apparently she was married to Stilt-Man, and then The Gibbon.   I mean, you might as well just kill yourself.

Oh, hold on.  I kid you not, Princess and her Circus of Crime compatriots, as a group, were defeated by Howard the Duck.

TWICE!

::absinthe::

View high resolution

ABCs of Mediocre Marvel Villainy

Man-Ape does get his powers from a monkey he ate. His powers? He’s sort of strong. And he’s gorilla agile.

He’s a Black Panther villain - and while I highly recommend the John Romita Jr run on Black Panther, his villains are lame.

Man-Ape is a frequent member and co-conspirator with the Lethal Legion. Which has been honored by such villainous luminaries as The Living Laser, Power Man, Whirlwind and the ever popular lame villain The Grim Reaper.

Oh Man-Ape.

(Also, I bet you’re all shocked I didn’t do MODOK.)

View high resolution

ABCs of Mediocre Marvel Villainy

Okay, so he was designed by Bill Sienkowicz, so when drawn by him he…okay, he still looks ridiculous, but he looks stylized ridiculous.

Let’s see if I can work this out. It’s not easy.

Legion is Professor X’s illegitimate son so he’s massively super brain powered. But he’s ape shit nuts. Back when I was reading he had three personalities and each one controlled a different brain power (I’m a little Cyndi, I have pyrokinetic powers!). Are you getting this? Illegitimate son with multiple personalities?

UGH.

Super soap opera.

Frankly he’s done stuff as a an attempted X-Man nemesis which is a big old mess involving time travel (yeah, he can do that), and psi-blades, and more and more personalities and absorbing people’s brains or something. I mean, he’s a total mess.

He’s got Kidd and Play hair!

Stay away from Legion.