So a week or so ago, Calamity Jon posted this set of rules for creating a superhero team, and it started me thinking. So, without further ado, meet:
Illustration by the supremely talented Kyle Starks • Comics / Tumblr
Here’s the pitch: The evil Chthon was scattered through the cosmos and banished from Earth by the Mighty Avengers using deus ex Doctor Strange along with Science Supreme! or whatever. I don’t know. It was a Bendis Avengers comic; I didn’t read the dumb thing and the wiki on it makes no damn sense. But there is this unintentionally hilarious image of a Chthon-possessed Quicksilver which … boy, I don’t even know.
The bottom line is that it didn’t really work. Not completely. See, the thing with Elder Gods is that they are very hard to kill, hence them being ELDER Gods. They are old because they were built to last. And when they’re as nasty as Chthon, it takes more than some magical plot device to completely disperse the (literally) damned things. So, in his disembodied state, the weakened and defeated Elder God begins to reconstitute himself. And while his recovering consciousness slumbers — he dreams.
And what happens when the Devil dreams?
Meanwhile in an old DARPA installation under the Arizona desert designated Fort Aztec, Special Agent Valerie Cooper, the new head of the ultra-secret DFND (The Department For Numinous Defense), has assembled a team of super-people to help combat the more-than-usual-for-the Marvel-Universe-at-least supernatural activity that’s started cropping up around the globe. An odd mix of veterans, new faces and straight-up super-weirdos are brought together to defend the Earth from whatever horror Chthon might dream up next.
The team is as follows:
Two members are veterans
1. Nighthawk — The de facto leader, he’s a bit of a stick-in-the-mud, but his heart’s in the right place. Also, he’s super-rich.
2. Valkyrie — Second-in-command. The strong, willful demigoddess loves a good fight.
Two members are new to the team
3. Gorgon — The resident “strong guy,” the Inhuman has taken a liking to the Outside World, especially these “Chee-Toe” things.
4. Dani Moonstar — When she tells you to duck, you’d better damn well duck. Cursed with sensing death, Dani can sometimes come across as cold but once she opens up, you’re set.
Two members are revamps of previous members
5. Sofia Strange — The daughter of Stephen Strange and Clea, ready to come out of hiding and kick some supernatural ass. Sofia’s still learning how to use her magical powers and wants desperately to prove her worth as a mage. She’s a little cocky, but wouldn’t you be if you were her?
6. Erin Stack, Machine Woman — Z2P45-9-X-52 escaped from a Hydra facility that was continuing Abel Stack’s robotics research in hopes of developing the ultimate disposable army. Cut off one head, 20 more are manufactured to take its place. Erin is very excited to be here, you guys.
One member is all-new
7. Blastboy — Kenji Ishimori was 16 when, in the middle of class, he fell out of his seat and became completely catatonic. When the medics arrived to administer first aid, they noticed a thin, impenetrable shell had begun forming around his body. When they got him to the hospital, DFND agents were there and relocated the boy, now completely encased in a thick, rocky cocoon to the Arizona facility. Three weeks later, the chrysalis opened and a transformed Kenji emerged, uncontrollable electricity erupting from his body. It’s called subtext, you guys. Over the past year, Kenji has learned to control his transformations and electric blasts, though he’s still working out the kinks. Oh, and he’s making everybody call him Blastboy now. Kind of dumb, I know, but he likes it, so whatever. And yes, I have been reading Shotaro Ishinomori’s Inuzaman, why do you ask?
Two reserve members who are total wild cards
8. Omega the Unknown — Not much is known (see what I did there?) about the mute superbeing with the Omega symbols on his palms, but he seems nice enough. And that James-Michael kid he’s always hanging out with? What kid talks like that?
9. Namorita — Did you know she was Atlantean royalty and therefore better than you? Because she will certainly remind every chance she gets. Sure, she’s a bit surly and rough, but when it counts, she’ll come through for you. Hopefully. Also super-rich.
And yes, Fort Aztec has stables designed to hold and care for two Asgardian winged horses, if you must know.